Is it just me who thinks this intensifier is used more often than it should be when we are describing ourselves? ‘too’ fat, ‘too’ skinny, ‘too’ loud, ‘too’ quiet, ‘too’ uptight, ‘too’ laid back…it really could be endless. Why do we consider ourselves to be ‘too’ anything and when did it begin?
Think about the times that you’ve asked yourself if you were ‘too’ something. Was it after a disappointment? Maybe it was when you discovered someone in whom you had an interest didn’t want to spend time with you. Perhaps it was some other situation when you didn’t get what you wanted or things didn’t go the way you planned. These are most often the times when we blame ourselves for being ‘too’. I am wondering if this is a valid question to ask however.
If you didn’t get the job you wanted, was it because you were ‘too’ something or was it just because it wasn’t the job that you were meant to have? If your partner breaks up with you, is it because you are ‘too’ something or is it because you just weren’t meant to be together? What about when you’ve had a disagreement with someone? Did this occur because you (or they) were ‘too’ something? Now I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers about this but I have developed quite a philosophical view about it.
I think, that if you are true to yourself and be yourself then you can’t be ‘too’ anything. You might not fit into what someone else believes you should be but that doesn’t make you ‘too’. It just makes you different from what they thought you should be. I’ve been told that I am ‘too’ emotional, ‘too’ fat, ‘too’ kind (for goodness sake, is that even possible?), ‘too’ dumb, ‘too’ tall, ‘too’ slow, ‘too’ disorganised (this one may have some validity J), ‘too’ sensitive and even simply ‘too’ much. I can’t help or control how someone else feels about me but if you love me the way that I am then I will love you back with such ferocity that you will never have to question it. If you don’t love me because I’m ‘too’ something for you, that’s fine but I won’t change and nor will I apologise. I will not pretend that I’ve never questioned how my being ‘too’ something has caused disappointments in the past but if I catch myself doing it now, I remind myself that I am just me, I will only be me and I am enough and I am worthy.
I challenge you to do the same. If you ever feel like you are ‘too’ something, please know that you are enough and you are worthy. Surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel ‘too’.